August 29th, 2017
I hear a lot of talk and read a lot of posts about mom’s being there for other mom’s in more of a supportive role and not judging each other. This is so true. In my opinion if your there for your kids and you love them and keep them fed and mostly clothed you’re doing a good job! If you yell or feed them junk food or hand them a tablet so you can get something done (or so you can nap or read) I hold no judgement to you! I’m right there with ya!
It actually relieves pressure off of me to see a mom out there who is a good mom doing those things. Because there’s a stigma out there that any junk food and any electronic time is just so bad for kids now a days. In large amounts and unsupervised I totally agree. But good grief when your a hands on mom who is there for your kids in all the endless ways a mom is needed for, those gummies and tablets can save your life!
Yes there are parents out there who abandon their kids or are only there intermittently and in negative ways but I’m talking about the mom’s that are there day in and day out doing what needs to be done.
Enough about moms…..what about the kids?
Before I had kids I remember seeing other kids and vividly thinking “wow my kids will not be allowed to do that or act that way”. Even when I had kids and they were younger I would see older kids and think the same thing. Now I’m not talking about bad behavior or disrespect but normal kids stuff. Like crying, talking like they know everything, not sharing a toy etc…..
I remember my sister in law was visiting and her daughter was maybe 4 and mine was 1 or 2. We were going to have a grocery store run and were both looking forward to getting out and having a little adult time while the dads were home with the kids. But her daughter had a fit to come with her. I remember how hard it seemed for my sister in law but instead of being sympathetic to her I was annoyed. Before you have kids you can not fathom how it changes you. Then even when you have them as your first grows you can’t fathom how each passing year of motherhood will change you. Because it’s ever changing. I had a kid- a 2 year old- but that didn’t mean I understood at all what it meant to have a 4 year old. I didn’t. I do now and it sure is different once your there yourself. It changes you.
But there are certain ages where kids don’t want to leave you or are just not prone to sharing or when they truly do believe they know everything. Kids of certain ages while each unique are all prone to certain types of behaviors so much so that Piaget the psychologist even created stages of development for it!
My son shares everything he has with strange kids. He has brought toys to the pool countless times and almost every time kids ask him to play with them and he always says yes. Then ends up with no toys to play with the entire time but doesn’t seem bothered by it and I don’t intervene. But I do remind him that it’s okay to say no.
At home though or even at a family gathering with cousins he can be a different story!
My daughter had a moment several weeks ago when she wouldn’t share something with her brother. We were out in public and for whatever reason she was emotional and refused. She was upset and quite dramatic about it. She overreacted. Ever have a moment like that? I sure do. I actually got this horrid look from another mom who was nearby!
I really wanted to walk up to her and say “so you think my daughter is a selfish and spooled brat? I guess you would from this one moment of observation. But perhaps you should focus more on the brain inside your head and using it to think as opposed to making rude faces at strangers. That girl your looking at that way just gave all her allowance money she had earned for 2 weeks to our server whom I had already tipped. She had enough for the toy she wanted and had been saving for but decided she didn’t need it. Every time a friend comes over she wants them to leave with something- usually one of her toys or pieces of jewelry (one time my jewelry!). She countless times has allowed her brother or other younger child to be first at something because she is thoughtful 95% of the time. You see I see her 100% of the time and you are seeing 5%. Would you liked to be judged based on 5% of your self? Don’t look at my kid that way. No one should be looking at kids that way. They are kids and they are learning how to interact with people and how to behave. Lets not teach them so young how to turn their noses up at strangers.”
But I didn’t…. instead I suppose I can just be a good example and try to be graceful and patient towards the little people around me,strangers or not. I may see a kid at a gathering that is overwhelming for them and they are already tired so they are whiney and grumpy acting. But that doesn’t make them a whiney and grumpy kid by any means. Kids are awesome. They are hilarious and have a refreshing perspective on things. I love talking to little ones. They just need basic things: play, love, frequent food, and sufficient rest. If any one of these are lacking I believe it would turn even the most angelic child into a little fiend.
In short mom’s lets not judge each others kids either….