I’m so tired of seeing posts going around talking about “no one ever appreciates the working mom they only mention how hard it is for the stay at home mom” or “no one appreciates the stay at home mom they only talk about how hard it is to be a working mom”. What is the point in writing or sharing something like that? To make your self feel better you share whichever one applies to you? Does it make you feel better to share that?
I’ve been in both situations and they both have their joys and both have their hardships. I could easily from experience list the different ones of each but what’s the point?
I am currently in my sweet spot of working part time and years ago it seemed something that I would have never thought possible. After years of trying multiple different schedules and budgets and through much frustration and many tears here I am able to work part time.
Yes if I worked more I would make a lot more money and some think I’m crazy to not do that. But time with my kids, being their primary caregiver and truly knowing them is priceless to me.
When I stayed at home before I started homeschooling I lasted 4 months before I was looking for a job already. I probably seem on the outside like the kind of mom who does crafts and bakes with her kids and loves all things “stay at home mom” but that is not the case. I need a task, a job, a goal. Homeschooling completed that for me and while it is hard it is amazing for us.
I also believe that its important for those that aren’t working outside the home to have time to themselves and something they are working on or towards for themselves. For me I don’t take that advise as often as I should because my time away from the kids is usually just when I’m working. But in the mornings, like right now, I can write. And that is my release.
I would like to learn guitar or take art classes. Or join a fitness group. But this is not a season in my life where most of that is possible. But the desire isn’t going to go away it will be there when I am able to follow it. I did find an online family piano class that for now will suffice for me learning more musically. Do what you can, when you can. Don’t compare and don’t put down your dreams. Set goals, make a plan.
With all my heart I just believe that we should all be more loving and supporting of one another. No one came into their journey with no bumps and no one has zero regrets or wishes or dreams. Talk to people when you meet them instead of judging them. In stead of “wow she works so much she never sees her kids, that’s so sad” or “she must be so bored and depressed staying home all day” ask them how their life is. Ask them if they’re happy. Ask what their struggles are and dreams. Skip the small talk!
My husband frequently asks people he comes across if they love their job and if it is what they dreamed of doing. You see he believes it’s possible to follow your dreams and he is over 40 and currently in a job that is not his dream and is slowly draining the life out of him. BUT he knows he’s doing what he has to do while planning to follow his dream when he can. He hasn’t stopped dreaming.
We’ve had a lot of back and forth with our lives and jobs and have come to a good place with a couple years left of our “do life together” plan can come to fruition.
God’s plan for us is so much better than any other plan and sometimes its hard to know what that may be. But I don’t think God wants me for example to do something I hate and have no passion for. I believe God gives us desires in our heart and passions and talents that push us towards His plan for us. With that being said unless you spend time with Him and in the Word you’re not going to know anyway. You may follow a false fleeting plan because it didn’t come from Him. So keep your walk close with Him.
I also think we over complicate it. He wants us to love and serve others in a way that glorifies Him. More often than not that is simple. And it doesn’t always mean becoming a missionary. Serving God and fulfilling your dreams and following your passions can manifest in many different ways. It will not look the same on every person and in every situation. So stop comparing or sharing something to make yourself feel better that may make others feel worse. Look at your self only and ask yourself if you are following your dreams? What are your passions and how can you pursue them?