Original Post October 1, 2016
Prior to having kids I didn’t really think about their education. I thought about how many I wanted and played with what I may name them one day but that was about it.
When my daughter was going from her 3 day a week preschool to 5 days a week Pre-K I decided to have a go at “practice homeschooling” I called it. For me it just didn’t feel right to send her away from me every single day when I was only working 2 sometimes 3 days a week.
At the time I also had 2 boys (11 and 1) and a job. Granted It was part time but it still took up 20-30 hours a week.
Now when I worked full time I had arrangements made for child care because I had to. My mom and husband were able to alternate keeping her. When my mom became busier at work and began having more and more grandchildren she became less available. Since then her own mother has moved in with her and her job demands at work have doubled. My husband who had been working maintenance where he made his own hours took a M-F 7am-5pm job. So I went from 2 reliable and flexible options to none.
For about 4 months I just didn’t work at all. But I was stir crazy and missed my hands on nursing. I’ll always be a nurse and will always need to work as one I think. And my husbands maintenance work died down and we needed my income back.
So I re-joined the hospital but in the float pool department working anywhere from 10-30 hours a week plus a nursing consultant job that was 10 hours a week.
Then I went back to a regular part time plus position that was 28 hours a week minimum. I did this while my daughter was in Kindergarten. But that put me at the control of the department’s scheduling and needs. I missed being able to control my own schedule so after 14 months of that I went back to float pool working weekend night shifts.
Now I work with those full timers who are burnt out and I’m the one they look at saying ‘it must be nice working only 1 or 2 days a week’. I remember feeling that same way about those floaters who joined us now and then! Well yes it is nice but it was hard fought to get here and may yet change at any given moment. And I gave up all benefits of health, vision, dental, paid time off and many other things to be float pool. Is it worth it? Beats me. For now I think it is. Although I do miss my contacts which it turns out without really good insurance are really pricey!
I truly have tried everything as far as scheduling goes. For a while there I had an in home sitter for the kids that I loved and she was very affordable. I even moved few houses down from her out of convenience. But then she moved with just 6 weeks notice and I found my self yet again without child care.
I know that day care’s are not bad and nothings wrong with using them. I just did not want to send my kids somewhere all day every day. I kept juggling my jobs and schedule to try and find something that worked. Just when I was getting settled into something it would change for reasons out of my control.
So even though I liked the idea of homeschooling it was never something I thought I could try. But being stubborn I tried anyway.
So that pre-k year for my daughter did great for a few weeks then dwindled to pretty much nothing after that. We played and visited the library frequently and explored outside but didn’t do a lot of “school-work”. She ended up being a little behind in her fine motor skills as far as writing was concerned. On top of that the in home day care she was attending 2-3 days a week had mostly children quite younger than her.
I beat myself up about that then. Now however I know that being “behind in writing” at that age is just not something to be concerned with.
Her birthday is literally on the cut off day and with the limited child care options I had I decided to send her to Kindergarten. I applied at Epiphany (fancy private school that’s really neat) and she was accepted but did not win the scholarship. So that was out.
Coincidentally our lease was up and we were also moving that June. So I decided to tour every school in my town to narrow down my housing search. Long story short she ended up being registered at 3 different schools and after much deliberation and switching around I sent her to New Bern Christian Academy. She did have a scholarship there for that year.
My older son who was in 8th grade at the time actually switched from public school to this private school as well. He tended to be easily influenced and frequently decided not to do his work. Ever since 5th grade he would go from C to F and back again all year long. I’m not sure how he passed 7th grade unless they just pushed him through.
I really liked that school and so did they. My oldest son had a transformation in attitude and grades. He was consistent in his grades and really did well there. But my daughter and I had a hard time adjusting to the long times away from each other every day of the week. We missed each other. I tried periodically to visit her at lunch and it always led to a meltdown on her part when it was time for me to leave. There were 4 time consuming fund raisers that year but no field trips. They spend a lot of school time practicing for a Christmas play and for their Graduation play. None of these are bad things but they just were the school’s decision not mine.
Living my life day by day based on the school’s schedule and not my own was exhausting and frustrating. Our lives revolved around the school and their schedule.
At the same time I was part of an actual unit again at the hospital in my benefited part time plus position so I did not have the freedom and flexibility of my schedule that I was used to having working in float pool.
It was a hard year for me because in my heart I didn’t feel like what we were doing was best for us. But I did not think I had any other choice.
My decision was kind of made for me when in December (as mentioned above) my in home day care closed and my mom was not available to watch my little one nor get the other 2 from school. So I went back to float pool and worked what I could when I could. We were tight money wise but I knew it was just an adjustment period. I was so tired of going back and forth and felt like I had no clue how to do life. Like I was just flailing around in an indecisive tornado of my own making. But life goes on whether I can make a decision or not. I needed time to think. Before I knew it summer was coming and my babysitting problems would become bigger. I priced summer camps and day cares but quickly decided against spending that amount of money to not see my kids all week.
The hospital was pretty short and they were offering extra pay for nurses to work the “critical need” shifts. So I discovered that by working one of these shifts per week (10-12 hours) I could make the same income as my part time pay. So for the summer I did just that on weekend nights.
Before I really had much time to think about the next year I found out that we were about $2,000 above the yearly income requirements for the kids to get the scholarship again.
My husband and I talked about sending them to public school. My oldest we knew would have trouble again but my daughter would likely have been fine. We were in a good elementary school district and she would only be in 1st grade. But the after school programs required you to pay all week even though she would only use it 2-3 days a week. During this deliberation of thoughts it suddenly dawned on me that if I kept my current schedule I could homeschool! I mean I was only working weekend nights anyway.
I never wanted to attempt to homeschool a 9th grader. But my husband and I didn’t feel comfortable with sending him to the public high school and we didn’t have the money to pay for the same school’s tuition. We talked to him about it and he was willing to try it. So we as a family decided to give it a go.
There has been a huge learning curve and I know there will be even more so to learn. We are in our 4th week right now and I’ve already learned so much. I know in 4 more weeks I’ll look back at my now self and think ‘you knew nothing’! But thats the beauty of it we get to decide what we do, when we do it and how we do it!
Again I have nothing against the school system here whether kids are there because parents have jobs that give them no other option or by choice. To each family their own. But I must say being there every day and watching my kids learn and grow is something I will never regret being a part of. I am so blessed to have a wonderfully supportive husband and a job that allows my tired self to work weekend nights (a blessing and a curse!).